would it feel like to be without a home? That is where I found my thoughts wandering during Bible study today. Imagine being in the desert with only a tent, sometimes hungry, sometimes thirsty. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. Yes, they had been promised, promised land, life.
But they couldn’t see it, touch it, feel it – they could only imagine…
But they had been slaves for many, many years, they didn’t have the imagination to see, they only saw problems, issues, arguments.
Have you? Have you ever got so far along the path but it was getting a bit uncomfortable, making you work a bit harder, asking for a little bit more of you and thne out of the corner of your eye – you see ……… (whatever turns your head – chocolate, coffee, girl, boy, drugs, drink, bingo, lotto, pornography) and because things haven’t been going so well for you – YOU TAKE ANOTHER LOOK
and begin the backslide.
I had that moment in May but the extremity of what it was and where it could lead – instead of catching a break on the slide I dug deeper than I have ever dug, I put my feet firmly on the ground and said NO.
Yes, I had momentarily, for a few seconds of one day made a huge mess, but more important to me was:
God still wanted me, messed up, weird and crazy me and fallen – again. He used the situation I got myself into, to show me where it could lead, where I would end up, spiritually dead. I was given a seat to sit on to look at the road ahead (towards God) and the side road (towards death) and I sat on my seat for many days. Not actually to decide which way, I had already made my choice, but just to be on my knees in gratitude, praise, worship and thanks that my merciful, grace filled, loving God was willing to go where I had been to show me WCS.
We all mess up (some of us more than others) BUT we can stop the mess mid sentence, we can begin again. We can sit on the side of the road and rest, contemplating the future with God, or no future without him.