Well that was a weird morning’s work. I posted assignments 3 through 6 on my blog as a page. I had to read through them to make sure I hadn’t included people’s names or anything like that and it was a really useful exercise. But now I feel spent.
Going back to that time in my life when I was adamantly saying “NO!” You can have a piece of me but I refuse point blank to even entertain the idea of standing or sitting in public and proclaiming your word.
Coming to now, when I say “YES,” to whatever he tells me to do, however he tells me to do it, through whomever he chooses. Wow, was I really so disobedient and disrespectful that the words he garnered together in my mind that I refused to speak them. Did I really think that I was so special that I didn’t have to do HIS WILL?
Yes I was, I was a spoilt, truculent infant refusing to take the medicine, I was the recalcitrant spouse refusing to hear another person’s point of view, I was the official insisting on all I dotting and t crossing before even considering an alternate lifeview.
You will notice when you see me, that if the spotlight is on “me” I turn a shade of beetroot hitherto considered too shocking for the dining table. If the spotlight is on THE LORD then I will talk forever with no ums or ars. Am I a schizophrenic preacher?
Now there’s a question, I don’t want to delve into too much. No seriously, I am not mentally ill, I just know that in order to save souls, speaking must be done, in order to point people to the lifegiving Jesus. It’s not about me.
I was talking to someone about temples this week. Have you ever noticed that preachers with a liking too much for food, tell you about it upfront, I drink too much hot chocolate or I love a good fry. I think about people with a partiality to heroin or crack or speed. We have a temple which is our body therefore we should not put things in that harm it and we shouldn’t overload it. So moderation is key. And for some of us we need to be careful to exercise, we need to exercise caution in what we eat so as not to clog those vital arteries.
The ongoing trauma of not smoking, the artificial need I have for those dreadful smokesticks, is not going away. However on November 23rd 2013 I made eight months smoke free and I will continue to do so. Not because I want to, but because as I remind myself and others remind me – “whiter than white.”
I am on a journey that is far too important to have clogged arteries, is far too important to fill my lungs with noxious substances, is far too important to be distracted by anything and is far too important to remove the spotlight from Christ.
Purity sounds self-righteous – just this second heard that said by Pastor Todd Hunter. Wow I am talking really about becoming pure, or purer. And he talks about it. Does that make me self-righteous?
No, my life is being refined, I haven’t been through the refiner’s fire recently but remember it clearly and am ready to go through again, if needed. Since the beginning of the Faith and Worship journey I have had sharp pointy bits cut off, tweezed, waxed, and knocked off in various different ways. I am becoming less 2D and more rounded whilst trying not to be too round. Now I have finished and passed I can now look back and see the changes as I was discovering my “voice,” the roots of my faith, understanding and theology.