I like dreaming, my dreams open up a world of opportunity, give me a fresh perspective. I don’t take them too seriously, I suppose I just note them. My whole journey of motherhood began with a glimpse of a baby in a dream and followed by a prayer on my 21st birthday. These twenty six years since that time have been interesting, challenging and I wouldn’t change one iota of them. My child is an inspiration to many, he inspires me and those around to get off the couch and go, if my child can then anyone can.
Many journeys started dreams have ended along the way, in my dreams I sometimes glimpse the end point and decide that I don’t want to go to that place and so adjust the settings and move away from that area. I get freaked out by some of my dreams and some just stay with me, nudging me gently in the right direction and sometimes even pushing me violently away or towards something.
In the last few days I have peaceful dreams of cornfields and butterflies, of walking up mountains and across dales, yes those Yorkshire ones. There has been an aloneness in the dreams but I didn’t feel lonely, there was a stillness to them but with the noise of nature. I have experienced in reality that peace and stillness so I recognised it. It was beautiful.
But I had another dream, some may call it a nightmare, I am just praying it is not a premonition. I was in a place where I was to speak and I got one of those raspy throat things, almost a choke cough. So my speaking was delayed by ten minutes and then I got up to speak, the technology I was using refused to work and my printed notes faded to white. I stood in front of people with nothing to say, I blurted out what I could remember but it was no good and I left never to return.
On waking I remembered another dream from a long time ago when I was to sing but when I opened my mouth no sound came out, later that week it happened, my voice refused to come and I was left speechless, songless and bereft.
So I push aside this “bad” dream and focus on the still peace that transcends my understanding, because as I sit in a situation that should be causing turmoil on the scale of the Australian bush fires, I find peace, I find stillness. In the presence of the Lord I am still, He is still. We are still together.
Many barriers and walls have been placed in my journey this year and as I write they continue to come but as they come my determination, my eagerness, my joy at being in the race does not sway, does not lessen and brings more of these things. As I, who thought I was unloveable, have been loved by the Lord I cannot but jump for joy even in the most difficult of situations.
Dreams come and go, most are so unremarkable we forget them on waking. God does not come and go, God is in our lives for the longhaul, there are no stopovers with him. He does not forget us, He loves us and in that love gives us a peace that we will never understand and the ability to stay strong in our faith no matter what is hurled at us. God is good all the time. [fullstop]